Why Your DMs Are Missing the Mark: A Guide to Authentic Business Connections

Picture this: within a single week, you receive 47 “just checking in” messages, three pitches to plan your future strategy, and even a query about your favourite crisp flavour. Sound familiar? If you’re a busy coach, you know this scenario all too well.

These kinds of messages don’t land—and here’s why:

The Common Culprits of Ineffective DMs

📱 Exhibit A: The Business Secrets Seeker
“How’s business going?” Would you open up about your sales performance, challenges, or wins to someone you’ve never spoken to before? Likely not. This message feels invasive rather than engaging.

📱 Exhibit B: The Classic Check-In
“Just checking how you’re doing!” If this is the 47th identical message you’ve received, it’s hard to distinguish one sender from another. And who has the time to explain how they’re really doing to a stranger?

📱 Exhibit C: The Future Planner
“Tell me about your 2025 plans!” This feels presumptuous. Starting with a warm introduction rather than jumping ahead to strategy talk would work far better.

📱 Exhibit D: The Mismatched Pitch
Imagine being a seasoned sales coach and receiving an offer to help you “learn sales.” A quick profile check could have saved this sender the embarrassment of an irrelevant pitch.

📱 Exhibit E: The Snack Interrogator
“What’s your favourite crisp flavour?” While quirky, this opener does little to establish meaningful dialogue. It’s hard to remember the sender or their business when the conversation doesn’t have substance.

Why These Messages Fall Flat

When your inbox is brimming with identical templates and shallow outreach, it’s easy to see through the effort—or lack thereof. Busy coaches are unlikely to share their challenges or business details with someone they’ve just met online. Worse, cookie-cutter messages feel impersonal and unoriginal, missing the chance to create genuine connection.

A Better Way to Start the Conversation

Instead of using generic templates, focus on crafting authentic and engaging messages. Here’s a sneak peek of what works:

  • Research First: Take a moment to review the recipient’s profile. What do they do? What are their achievements? Tailor your message to show you’ve done your homework.

  • Personalised Openers: Start with something specific and relevant, such as commenting on a recent post they’ve shared or an accomplishment you admire.

  • Be Curious, Not Intrusive: Ask thoughtful questions that invite conversation without prying too deeply.

  • Value First, Pitch Later: Share insights, ideas, or resources that demonstrate your expertise. Build rapport before diving into business discussions.

Your Next Step

If you’re ready to transform your approach to outreach and build meaningful connections that lead to results, it’s time to rethink your strategy. Authenticity wins in today’s noisy digital world. Start with curiosity, lead with value, and watch your connections grow into impactful relationships.

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